I feel stuck. I want to be doing more, growing more, accomplishing more. "It's okay to stand where you are." Simple words- complex message. But for me, these words were personal freedom. They were permission for me to not expect myself to be 10 paces ahead, but to firmly stand where I am and to appreciate that.Read More
I’m a simple mom. I want to enjoy the holidays and make memories, but I don’t want it to be more stressful. One thing I’ve had to remind myself is that my kids won’t remember if things were “perfect” but they will remember the valuable time we spent together as a family, the traditions we held to, and the laughter we share.Read More
Birth story continued. The harder parts. Now like I said, there were two things happening simultaneously. There was this – the placenta ordeal, and then there was the flooding of medical questions and directives. I had taken medication for the first time at this point and I had just given birth and someone was elbow deep trying to pull my placenta outside of my body.Read More
Birth stories. They are all unique and bring beauty in different ways. All of the midwives knew my wishes were to not be stuck laboring in the hospital for hours on end and knew I wanted things as natural as could be. She gave me the option of settling into a room or going back home to labor for a few more hours. Because I was still feeling pretty good, we decided to drive back home and planned to labor in the shower or bed at home. On the walk out, I noticed my contractions getting stronger, but continued on to the van. We got out of the parking garage and started driving home.
Exclusively pumping was never in my plans. Those first couple nights in the hospital she wasn’t latching and she was hardly taking in any milk- it broke my heart. It broke my heart when I realized that the reason for this was that she had in undetected cleft palate that made it really hard for her mouth to make the motion necessary for successful breast-feeding. It didn’t take long before I realized that more than likely, we would never have that bonding experience I had dreamt of.Read More
As we come close to the end of a family of three where you have felt and experience the soul energy and attention, my hope is that it has filled you and prepared you to see all of our love grow as we collectively welcome your sister into it. Don't forget- love doesn't divide, it multiplies.
“How’s your heart" requires you to dig a little deeper and explore the condition of your heart toward yourself, towards others, and the world around you at the time. As I am anxiously awaiting to meet my daughter, my biggest question is--how is her heart?
For those of you who don’t know, at 18 weeks we learned that our little girl will have a heart defect requiring intervention and surgery.
Feelings are so big. They are big for all of us. Some of us display them, some of us suppress them… but we all have them. Now, imagine you’re 2 and you have all of these feelings and yet you haven’t learned all the coping mechanisms to work your way through.Read More
In the weeks and months leading up to the anticipated arrival of a baby, you’ll often see nursery pictures showing off the space created just for the newborn. Moms with creative and decorative flair show off their skills and ability to coin a space for a boy, girl, or be gender-neutral. These pictures are totally adorable, but I remember when I first felt the pressure to have a super-cute room just for baby… only to find out we didn’t really use that room for almost a year.Read More
In the midst of all of that, I also find myself hurting for those days that didn’t come. To the mommas who dreamt about and visualized this day and it never came- my heart aches. For those who have been struck by infertility, for those who have lost both inside and outside of the womb, for those who have a hole in their heart where tragedy is so big and unfair- my heart aches.Read More
As we prepare to transition from a family of 3 to a family of 4, I long for you to be confident in your place. I long for you to know how important of a role you play as your sister’s big brother. I desire for you to feel that our love for you is unconditional and unwavering. I long to still have our sweet moments just the two of us- to drift to sleep or to lay on the swing and look up through the trees. We will have those moments- I promise you.Read More
As far as motherhood goes, well, I do just about as much guessing and self-doubting as I did when he was an infant… it just looks different in each season. Instead of worrying if he’s getting enough milk, I’m worrying about what he’s picking up off the ground to try to sneak into his mouth. Instead of worrying about him sleeping safely, I’m wondering how the hell to just get him to sleep without another epic battle. Instead of wondering when I’ll be able to get off the couch and not be nursing or holding him during a nap, I’m wondering how I can make him exhausted enough to settle down on the couch and cuddle with me.Read More