How to Be the Happiest Mom
Did you know that moms who stay home are actually more stressed than moms who go to work? Just kidding- moms who go to work actually have more stress and responsibilities.
BUT did you know moms with 4 kids are the happiest but moms with 3 have higher links to anxiety? Okay- that’s not actually backed with facts either.
BUT did you know that moms who do their dishes everyday actually surpass moms who don’t on the happiness charts? Well, that’s subjective too…
Here’s the deal, motherhood bloggers and publications are getting BIG CLICKS right now by telling you who is the happiest, who is the most stressed, who has the science of life down and who is drowning. I’ve found myself scrolling these articles too- trying to figure out if my work hours, marriage situation, number of children, and house-tending habits are in perfect alignment to deliver the most happiness to myself and my children. Am I doing the top 5 things that make moms happiest? Shit. I’m only doing 3. Now what?
I say this partially in jest but also partially as a reminder to snap out of it and stop worrying so much about how we measure up to the moms in these articles. Stop trying to decide whether or not your happy based on whether your story mirrors the one you read in that popular article circulating on your Facebook feed. Stop abruptly changing all of your habits because you read that doing X instead of Z would make you a better mom. We live in a day where information is free flowing and abundant. In many ways, that’s fabulous, but in many ways it also creates more avenues than ever for self doubt and comparison. We don’t even have to leave our homes see the lives of other women on this motherhood journey.
So what is best? Stay at home mom or working mom? Clean up mom or leave the mess mom? Small family mom or big family mom? Social mom or introverted mom?
It’s all relative.
Motherhood is a journey that is not one-size-fits-all. It’s more of a choose your own adventure. It is a role and experience we have as the individuals we are. Our motherhood journey is affected tremendously by our personality and preferences. That’s why I want to urge you to spend less time reading about what you “should” do or be and spend more time learning about yourself and letting that guide your way. Our identities change as we take on new roles, but often times our core foundation remains quite consistent.
If you’re looking to know yourself more (and I’d argue that is something that benefits us all!) here are a few resources that go beyond that Facebook quiz you did or that Buzzfeed article you read.
Enneagram- 9 numbers that are telling of your foundational needs and goals as well as what that looks like in your strongest times and weakest times
5 Love Languages - How do you give and receive love? This is super helpful in communicating to your partner (or kids) the priorities in the midst of life full of things that could be done.
16 Personalities- Aspects of the self: Mind, Energy, Nature, Tactics and Identity
When taking these quizzes, be as truthful as possible. Don’t be you’re “I wish I was” but respond to what is most typical of you. Be real, this isn’t graded. Once you have your results, you can use your insight to your core needs/desires, mode of operation, etc. to identify what is most important in your home, what will give you most satisfaction as a mother and help you to prioritize your own schedule communicate with those around you to advocate for yourself. The happiest moms are the moms who stay true to themselves and dismiss the pressures that come from all the outside noise. Know thyself and follow your path.
I’d love to hear what results you find and how you plan to apply them in your life! Make sure to tell me in a comment below.